The Chapters

Chapter 1: The Partner Improvement Fight

“If only he or she could change this one thing….” Trying to change your partner’s bad habits is tricky, and can touch off the PARTNER IMPROVEMENT FIGHT.

Chapter 2: The Prove Your Point Fight

Both of you are absolutely sure that you are right about a situation. As you try to persuade each other of your rightness, you both end up feeling unheard, frustrated and stuck in the PROVE YOUR POINT FIGHT.

Chapter 3: The Nagging-Tuning Out Fight

“You nag me, so I have to tune you out”. “I have to keep telling you because you never listen!” The classic NAGGING-TUNING OUT FIGHT goes round and round.

Chapter 4: The Escalating Fight

Frankly, it’s embarrassing. The fight starts about something small, but it blows up into World War III. The ESCALATING FIGHT can feel completely unstoppable.

Chapter 5: The Household Responsibilities Fight

Who does what around the house is always a potential sore spot for fights. How can we make it fair and stop the HOUSEHOLD RESPONSIBILITIES FIGHT?

Chapter 6: The Birthday Fight

The card is last-minute, the gift is a complete dud, the sentiment totally off. Why can’t my partner ever get it right? Why does my partner have to be so picky about celebrations? The BIRTHDAY, or CHRISTMAS, or VALENTINE’S DAY FIGHT is an annual one.

Chapter 7: The Bad Reputation Fight

“He’s untrustworthy.” “She’s compulsive”. “He is needy”. “She is insensitive”. My partner sees me in a fixed way and can’t let it go. How can anything change in the relationship if we are always stuck in the BAD REPUTATION FIGHT?

Chapter 8: The You-Don't-Care-About-Me Fight

“How can you say you care about me if you hurt me, disregarded me, did this or said that?” Any fight can devolve into the YOU-DON’T-CARE-ABOUT-ME FIGHT, the “fight-of-all-fights”.

Chapter 9: The Sex Fight

The sex is frustrating or not satisfying and it’s got to change. But first, we have to stop the SEX FIGHT that happens every time we try to talk about it.

Chapter 10: The Money Fight

“You need to be more careful about money!” “Life is about enjoying, not deprivation!” The MONEY FIGHT is common, but very painful.

Chapter 11: The Parenting Differences Fight

We have two very different perspectives on how to raise our kids. It won’t turn out well for them if we can’t stop the PARENTING DIFFERENCES FIGHT.

Chapter 12: The Difficult Relatives Fight

There is always one. It is so hard to agree on how to deal with a certain family member, so you end up in the DIFFICULT RELATIVES FIGHT.